The Onion's Crappy Life
by Ginger Paws 14
Summary: The marauders have a prank that will surely get those nasty Slytherins.... ONIONS!


The onion was sitting in a deserted room with many shut doors.It could hear voives coming from the other side of those doors. It was unfortunatly not the only onion in the room. There were many others. They were all piled up in a large stack in the middle, and I mean very middle, of the room. Our onion sat quietly thinking over how it could have gotten into this situation. The onion was remembering its life on the farm...

It had all started when the onion was a little sprout growing in the soil. It had never known how it had gotten into the soil, it was just there. It had many, many, many brothers and sisters growing around it. The onion had grown and grown over the year. Harvesting time had come and the farmer and his machine minions were ready. The onions weren't ready to leave home yet. The farmer harvested them anyway.

"Damn." thought the onion. "I never wanted to leave." It went back to its memories after a quick rambling about how much its life sucked.

The onion had been harvested. Now it was time to be packaged. Orange mesh bags don't suit an onion very well. Well, bad for the onion...It makes them look fat but good for the human... It made the onions look fat. After packaging, the onions got stuck in a big box. But at least it knew some of the other onions in the box. The box was dark and there was a weird smell and it was very cramped inside. The onion didn't know what caused the box to bump and hit things but I know the box was put in a truck.

When the box was opened it was sitting in a room with many other things sitting on shelves. Things like other fruits, vegitables, meat, and other boxes. Most of the fruits and most of the vegitables were in bags but some unfortunate ones were cut up and inside cans. The meat was in plastic and the boxes were, well, boxes. Quickly, the onion was taken, in its bag, out to a mind bogglingly huge room with real bright lights. It was put on a shelf to be bought and eaten by humans. Sadly, it was not to be.

Before the onion could be sold, he was deemed uneatable and sent to the dumpster behind the wizard supermarket. The dumpster was very smellybut at least it had room. The onion sat in the dumpster for three days before it was "rescued"

Peter Pettigrew was very nervious. He didn't know if taking onions from a supermarket was considered stealing or notbut he didn't want to do it. James and Sirius had convinced him it would be well worth the effort when they pulled off the prank. All Peter had to do was take the rotton onions out of the dumpster and send them to James.

So, here the onions sat. In an empty room with 4 boys sitting nearby whispering something about "those Slytherins." Now the onion didn't know who or what those Slytherins were but ti didn't sound to good.

James Potter had recieved a large box filled with something with a horrid stench. There was a letter with it...

Dear Prongs,  
Padfoot told me to send these onions to you. You two had planned the prank so I guess you know what to do with them. Please tell me the prank on the Hogwarts Express... Signed, Wormtail

As the day neared to board the train and go to Hogwarts, he had kept the onions in a freezer. The day everyone arrived at Hogwarts, James gave the onions to his mate Sirius Black to put into the kitchen freezer and warn the house elves not to touch them.

So here they were... Peter, James, Sirius, Remus, and the onion. The 4 boys were hiding behind a couch with gas masks ready to be put on. Remus was holding a wand and was the only one to be trusted with fire. Remus whispered the fire spell "Incenduim" and pointed his wand at the large pile of rotten onions. All 4 masks were quickly thrown on and all 4 boys ran out of the room.  
The Slytherins were drawn out of their dorms by a putrid smell drifting in from their own common room. Severus Snape and Lucius Malfoy and Bellatrix Black were the first ones in the common room. They all saw the burning onions at the same time and they all had the same thought. "Black! Potter!" As these boys were usually in detention for playing some type of prank, they were always the first to be blamed. Especially by the Slytherins.

The onion had just remembered the last of his life when a red flame popped up at the bottom of the pile. It spent its last seconds rambling on about how horrible its life had been. The onion's last thought of all, "Damn," was the last word mumbled by any og the onions before they all went up in flames.

The marauders had pulled off and got away with one of their best pranks on the Slytherin house. Alas, the onions had to suffer. sniffles 


End file.
